Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
