id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
