first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize