apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
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He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
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Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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