I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
People with herpes should wear stickers.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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