SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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