Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
