my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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