I didn't shave. On purpose
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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