your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
