So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize