You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize