I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
True college students do jello shots in the library
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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