How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
