you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
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Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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