We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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