Just mADE A PArabola og urine
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
