I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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