My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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