it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
