Little spoons don't ask big questions
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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