the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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