Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I can't turn off my feet"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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