His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
