Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
