I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I need moral support for this bender
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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