your parents love me but you hate me
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
