I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
