Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
