She said her name was "party"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
