we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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