I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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