Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
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