Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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