You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
