I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
