I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
