Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
