I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
