The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Semen is not good for contacts.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
