I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
