guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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