I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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