Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
