Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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