The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
