My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
