a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The maid of honor just puked.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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