; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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