I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
