I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
