he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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