At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
