Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
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A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
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Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.