the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY