when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.