the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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